The Best Apocalypse and Dystopia Novels: A Timeline of the Future

Apparently it doesn't matter who gets elected president this month; America is scheduled for a complete and psychotic make-over in two years from now. The world's favorite subject is quickly becoming How the World Will End, which is kind of like hanging out with your friends and all deciding to draw comic strips about how the others are going to kick the bucket.

All the same, I love dystopia and apocalyptic novels. I posted here in July, "Usually, in dystopians, Nazis come back to life and everyone has to live in little shacks, and the love triangles are made up crazy people and celebrities and bakers." (Should that not be the catchphrase of all YA books lately?) 

But how will they all fit together? With so many depressing predictions for the end of the world, we're going to need to operate on a very tight schedule. 

If you see a book you like or haven't read, click on the cover for more info. 

2013: Life As We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeffer

First things first, the moon must be hit by an asteroid. Zombies-shmombies. The moon has to be really big in the background before I can even think about that. In Life As We Knew It, the moon is sent into a closer orbit with the earth, causing climate changes, natural disasters, and tides rising, making this novel the perfect segway into dystopia as we know it. In the meantime, The Host can run around for 400 pages. It's a win-win. 

2020: Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion, The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks

Zombie geeks, now is your time. And your mother laughed when you bought a flame thrower. We'll allot you five years to rule the earth in ax-wielding glory before finding a cure. And your mother will still laugh at your flame thrower. Unfortunately, for the apocalypse to continue, we've got a lot more ground to cover. 






2025: Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

Why does this book ALWAYS come up? Maybe it's because I'm too excited for the movie. However, in 2025, people are already studying Harry Potter in school as classic literature. Everyone has that old Ender's Game movie memorized, so it won't take us too long to recover from a couple of well-placed alien attacks and world-dominating governments. Well, maybe a little bit of time.




2104: Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

Classic lit fans, rejoice! Fahrenheit gets its day. Of course, that means all your favorite classic lit is destroyed by fire. Luckily, firemen will be unemployed sooner than later, because it's a pretty short book. So stay tuned, citizens, for . . . 

2177: Matched by Ally Condie

Evolving out of the Fahrenheit society comes Matched, which holds plenty of the same characteristics as its predecessor. Matched is still big on censorship and creepy pills, but introduces the world to a new concept as well: love triangles. The future slowly morphs into a place where a romance can no longer be a romance unless it involves an indecisive girl, a blond guy, and a brunette one. One of the three must limp. Or be an outlaw. Or both. 

2177: City of Ember by Jeanne DuPrau
In the meantime, a group of semi-sane people decide to ditch dystopia and hop underground. To create . . . a dystopia. In City of Ember, a group of people formulate an underground society when living above ground becomes just too scary. Of course there is the problem of running out of food and electricity. Read the book. 




2205: The Hunger Games by- do you really not know? 
(Suzanne Collins)

I really wanted to be alive for this one, but unfortunately Panem is established a little outside my life-expectancy zone. From the ashes of psychotic book-burners and zombie purged lands comes my personal favorite. Katniss, as the great-great-granddaughter of Hawkeye, (the Avengers apocalypse happens before the rest of this of course, but unfortunately it's not a book) proves that those flamethrowers were tacky and takes us old school with a bow and arrow and a love triangle  Of course.



What did we miss? Leave a comment if there's a dystopia you'd like to see squeezed in. 

Check back next week for an early Halloween post!

Dystopia Real Estate

Dear YA authors of the world,

Thank you very much for helping me blow my babysitting money on your Nook books every week. It's always an adventure. I love YA fiction. I really do. 

But I've run across aproblem I think you should know about. 

Walking into a library, they have books set up on display. You know what I'm talking about. They're usually your books. They have a little shrine to Biographies and How-To books back in the corner with a layer of dust over it. They have a children's book display where all the books have tomato juice or acrylic paint rubbed on them. And thenthere's usually a little table of YA fiction books. Guess which table I go to. 

Last week, I walked into the library to find a new table set up- YA DYSTOPIAN. Usually, in dystopians, Nazis come back to life and everyone has to live in little shacks, and the love triangles are made up crazy people and celebrities and bakers. Guess which table I went to. 

Ever since The Hunger Games came out three years ago, it seems like publisher heaven chucks down a new dystopia every day. Sometimes they land on my head. I love reading them. I love Matched and Uglies and Maze Runner and City of Ember and Life As We Knew It and Unwind and The Host- there really are a lot of you. Love it. BUT. 

But I told you there's a problem. With all the dystopia real estate out there in the world, it seems like every one of you blew your author royalties on a patch of District 13.  

Really? That's the worst part of the entire Hunger Games series. I know everybody wants to be Hunger Games now. But think about it. Do you really think teens enjoy reading about underground communities where all they can eat is turnips? Would that sound like fun to you in the ninth grade? I really hope not. 

And yet, author after author feels like they have to end up in District 13. It didn't even work the first time. I told you- I go to the library way to much. Have you seen how many copies of Mockingjay just sit on the shelf? I have. Every Suzanne Collins fan looks at those three books in a row and wonders- Why couldn't we stay in the arena? That was fun. You were famous and people were eaten by monkeys and werewolves.Then we showed up in District 13. 

But you all just kept going. Ally Condie- Why couldn't we stay on the run? Learning to build fires in St. George was a party. (I'm pretty convinced we were in St. George, right?) I loved it. River rafting trips and food rations are the way to go. But then at the end of Crossed, we washed up on District 13. Not even stretching this. White walls and grumpy people. 

I miss the dramatic poetry in the woods.  That was cool. 

Then I had the . . . adventure of reading (and often skimming) Shatter Me this week by Tahereh Mafi. Sorry, no link. Not my favorite. Especially because, in the end- her characters pass out and wake up . . .

IN DISTRICT 13. 

Call it what ever you want- and you do- the Rising, the Omega Movement, whatever. We all know where we are. There's only room for so many fully functioning underground communities in Dystopia, guys. Namely one. 

Aren't they a little crowded by now? A little grumpy? I would be. All these "strong, independent leading ladies" keep popping in with their love triangles. I really wishthere was somewhere else they could go. 

At least Harry Potter didn't wake up in District 13 after Voldemort blasted him. When Percy and Annabeth sail their boat to a grumpy underground community in Mark of Athena, I give you all permission to slap me. 

This letter has gone on way too long. I need to get back to writing my new YA dystopian novel. It's gonna be a total hit. I just got to the part where the brunette and her boyfriend show up in a grumpy underground community. I like to keep things fresh. You should all put in a good word in for me to your buddies up in publisher heaven.

Love from 

Lauren

P. S. It was hard for me to pick the complaining topic for this letter- If you don't want me to go back and send my letters about how all of your love triangles look alike or why the X-Men keep showing up in your novels, you should all really send me signed copies of these books. I did put links to them, after all. You're welcome.  

I love you.